Family Fun At Calaway Park!

Before I had Jacob I have to admit that I didn't give much thought to wheel chair accessibility.  I knew that there were wheel chair parking spots, automatic doors on some buildings and the odd place had a ramp, but that was about the extent of it. 
This week we visited a place that seems to have given accessibility some real thought, oddly enough, it was an amusement park, Calaway Park in Calgary Alberta.  A place full of family fun, spinning rides, challenging games, yummy food and fun entertaining shows!
But here is the inside scoop on accessibility.  We stayed at the campground right beside the park.  We had a power only site because the full service sites were full and I am glad.  The campground is all about being close to the park, not about space and privacy, however the power only sites do have some trees and shade.  Full service was pretty much a big field with some little trees that will need a few years yet before they are ready to shade anyone!
There are bathrooms and showers on site.  A Canadian toonie ($2.00) will get you five minutes of hat water in a very clean shower.  I was very impressed.  But what I loved even more was the family bathroom.  You need the access code to get into this bathroom with a wheel in shower and room to manoeuver a chair and a couple of helpers.
We got up each morning, ate breakfast, stepped outside the door and walked across a field to the gates of the park.  No fighting the traffic or worrying about parking! Admission to the park is listed below and if you stay at the campground they offer discounted tickets and meal vouchers too. If you have a family member with a disability they get in for $11.55 (at the time of this post) and their aide (or mother/father) gets in free.  That is not all!  Once you have your tickets you head over to the guest service counter and ask for a bracelet.  This allowed Jacob and up to three others family members to beat the line ups.  We were put on the ride in one or two turns.  Someone was thinking! 

Regular (7-49 years):  $35.95+gst
Junior (3-6 years): $29.00+gst
Fifty Plus (50 years and up): $27.00+gst
Family of 4: $89.00+gst   Each additional family member: $22.00+gst
After 2 PM rate: @20.95+gst
children 2 and under are FREE! And you can purchase season passes.

That being said my sister in-law found tickets for $20.00 each at her local Co-op store.

Okay, now that we have all of that out of the way, let me share with you our adventure!
We spent two days at the park. It was great fun. My dear husband, Colin, our daughter, Mackenzie, son Jacob and nephew, Sloan joined me on this excursion.  Nathan was being 17 and decided that he would have more fun if he stayed home (Dang it all, he thinks he did)! 

Our first stop was the junior bumper cars for Sloan.  We were too big and Jacob couldn't go alone so we headed over to the "egg" ride where you climb aboard a giant egg that spins around and goes up and down.  This is where we discovered Jacob is no longer 3 :) He was so excited to get on the ride and squealed as it started, but soon turned to me with a very serious "You have got to be joking" look on his face!  Apparently he has out grown the "egg" ride.  We moved up to the junior roller coaster...better, but still not enough.



Kenzie and Sloan on the Eggs!



A very excited Jacob, ready for adventure!

Jacob on the Spider ride!  Getting ready for it to start!
(We tried to get a picture while it was running, but couldn't catch us!)



So reluctantly I got in line for the Spider.  This is what Jacob had been waiting for!  Spinning, tilting, up and down and the turns made "your heart feel funny" (quote by Sloan!)  Jacob laughed right out loud!  Then we headed over to a ride kind of like the swings, but in a car instead of a swing.  This was Jacob's limit I am sorry to  say.  He came off a very pale boy.  Wasn't to interested in lunch either. Poor guy,  but I am sure he was happier going on the 'big boy' rides.  It was a good reminder to me that he is growing up!
Kenzie and I had a turn on the roller coaster, we all took a turn on the carousel ~ tradition of course!But the favourite for all of us was the bumper boats! We came out dripping!  It was the best of both worlds, "big kid" ride without the crazy spinning!

A tired Boy on one last ride!

So what would we keep and what would we change?  We would do it again but I don't know if we would go two days in a row.  Day two was exhausting and I don't think we had recovered from the first day.  We would stay at the campsite again~  Loved the convenience.  Most of all we loved the time we spent with our family creating wonderful memories!
Thank you Calaway Park for helping All families to enjoy a fabulous day together~ everyone!
Have a wonderful Day!  I plan to!

Possibly My Last Post

Hello Everyone.  I want to thank you for following me this past year.  I have enjoyed writing this blog and reading your comments. 
Because our year without T.V is over, I have started a new blog.  It will be about our travels and adventures. If you are interested, you will find us at http://www.thetravellinmom.blogspot.com/
Hope to see you there!

The Year Ahead

Well here we are at the end of our year without T.V.  What a year it has been.  I am so grateful for this challenge and all that I have learned.  I am grateful for the time I found to do many new things.  I only wish that we could have truly hung on for the whole time.
I have just returned home for my father's funeral.  What a hard thing to go through.  I am thankful again for the time we had together in October. What a blessing it was.  As I helped to go through his house and belongings I was overwhelmed with the thought that these things were the accumulation of his life.  I wondered what would be left at the end of my journey on this earth.  Then I thought of my Dad's children, grandchildren, brothers, sister, nieces and nephews and friends.  And realized that that is where his true love and life was.  That is where he found his greatest happiness and those relationships are what will last far beyond this life. So as I am at the beginning of another year I wonder what will lie ahead? Will it focus on what is really important? YES, of course it will if that is where I put my energy! 
That is what I plan to do!  One very important lesson I have taken from this past year is that I need to write.  So I am beginning a new blog.  I am not sure whether I will revise this one, or begin afresh.  But it will take a look at service, family life and the joy and challenges that come to a family with a dear one with limited abilities.  I hope that you will continue to follow along and.  And thank you so much for taking the time to read my bits and bobs this past year.  I have so enjoyed it.
I hope you are looking forward to a wonderful, love filled year ahead of you. I know I am!

A Better Day!

Yesturday was a complete No good, very bad day. 
I have these every once and a while. You know the kind, the one where nothing seems to go your way, and really it doesn't matter what did go right, you wouldn't recognize it anyway?  That was the day I was having.  I am hopeful that today will be better.  Because Today I will remember to write in my gratitude journal, I will remember to get the sleep I need and I will remember to stop comparing myself with others around me.  I will work on being the best version of me I can be and I will focus on the good and the positive.  There is so much of it.  I will remeber the lessons I have learned over the past few months and put that knowledge to work. 
Yes, today will be a better day, and I am looking forward to it!
I hope you have a better day, I know I plan to.

Time to be Grateful

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American friends!  I guess it is official and I can decorate for Christmas!
We had our real first snow fall last night.  I have admit that I love the white stuff.  I love watching it fall, cozing in by the fire, playing in it and the way that it changes the light in my house when it is on the ground.  So thank you mother nature for sending it my way!
There is so much to be grateful for right now.  I am excited for the season, my warm home, my dear children and dear husband, my health, my chickens (heehee), food on my table, my sight that I can see the beauty around me, my hearing that I can hear Jacob's giggles, my legs that allow me to get out and enjoy the weather, my voice that I can be heard and sing carols...I wonder if others are grateful for this ;)
The list could go on and on.  I love Sarah Ban Breathnach's book Simple Abundance.  She suggests that we all keep a gratitude journal. It is a great way to see the joy in your life.  She has a website too that I will add to the side bar.  She shares a quote by Melody Beattie, who also has a great blog that I will add.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
-Melody Beattie

So I challenge you all to take a look at what you are grateful for in your life.  It doesn't have to be anything huge. I came across a gratitude journal I had started when my children were babies.  My lists include things like, my dishwasher, my bed, my family, nap time, warm apple pie and fitting into my old jeans! It is usually the simple things that bring the most joy

Hey and check out these other sites!

I hope you have a happy, grateful day, I plan to.

Just Be Still

Since coming home from my visit with my Dad, I find I am filled with a great sense of contentment.  I have always been the one who has tried to prove I could 'have my cake and eat it too'.  I took the statement, "You can do anything You put my mind to", very literally.  I have always fully believed that to be true and have spent the first 30 odd years of my life trying to do it all. 
In high school I was involved with basketball, yearbook, students council, badminton, cross country running, S.A.D.D, (but I think it was called something else), and somewhere in there I managed to pass my classes, hold on to a boy friend, attend most football games, carry a job and hang out with my friends. I remember my dear mother trying to tell me that I was doing too much and something would have to give...hummm, maybe I could have earned A's instead of B's and C's...
Then I moved away from home, got married and had three wonderful children. Still trying to help out at church, have wonderful birthday parties for each one of my sweet darlings, babysit other peoples children, write, keep up with laundry, and occasionally homeschool my children, work full time, take care of chickens and sheep, remember date night, renovated our home, attend all of Jacob's Dr. appointments and be a good wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, aunt and neighbour.
I have always been on the watch for the next project, something I could throw myself into and feel I was doing enough.  Something that would fulfill my need to prove I could do hard things. 
I am still working through why I have felt this way and what has changed.  But what I want to share is the joy that comes from just being still.  Still enough to listen and to hear what it is you really want to be doing.  What is it that really brings you joy and contentment?  If we stop running around in circles trying to keep busy, doing what we think others want or need us to do, if we can carve out some quiet time in our lives where the T.V, MP3 players, cell phones and computers are turned off, we will be amazed at what we hear. 
I have spent the last few weeks creating a chicken coup and yard.  I have calmly and quietly, built the nesting boxes out of old 2X4's and have enjoyed every minute of it.  My family is still alive.  They have eaten and have clean clothes on their backs.  Because you know what?  When we stop and listen to that inner voice and do what it says, we have more energy and desire to do ALL that needs doing.
I have signed up for an online writing course.  It feels so good to be taking another look at my book.  I love reading others ideas and suggestions about ways I can improve it.  It feels great to be taking myself seriously.
I have spent some mornings just standing watching my chickens...I LOVE my chickens!  They make me so happy!
I have just about finished organizing the basement and the laundry is all caught up!  I feel I am doing less and getting more done.  I am NOT trying to accomplish someone elses To Do list, just my own  and it is working!
There is a power in trusting ourselves.  I think for a long time the world has been telling us that we should have it all, do it all and be it all.  I believe we can, but not the way the T.V commercials show it to be.  We can HAVE all we need to be happy today, just by opening our eyes and seeing the blessings that are right in front of us. 
We can DO all we need to be content if we stop trying to keep up with everyone else and begin living our own life. 
We can BE our very best self when we take the time to be still and find out what that looks like and trust ourselves enough to follow through.
I have never been happier!
I hope you can take the time to be still day!  I plan to.

Musings of a Happy Chicken Owner!

I have to tell you, I am in love with 31 beautiful hens!  We have adopted them from two different friends of ours who had to give them up for various reasons and we are glad we did.
I get up every morning, get the kidlets out the door to the bus, come in for breakfast, tidy up a bit and then I rummage around my fridge to see what looks wilted or past it's prime.  I take it to the cutting board where I chop it into chicken bite size pieces and fill my #10 can. I then slip on my rubber boots and head to the beloved chicken coup.  I open the Door and there are 31 beautiful ladies happy to see me, yes I guess it could be the can full of food, but I like to think it is me! 
The best part is that I don't have to be out there at the crack of dawn because they need time to lay their eggs.  That fits perfectly into my day.  Just about everyday some of them get out and we have to go out and put them back in. But secretly, I love watching them roam around the yard.  Today I found two perfect brown eggs tucked away in a thicket behind the coup. 
If you have ever dreamed of owning your own lovely hens, do it!  They are wonderful!
I hope you have a cheery day, I plan to!

A Month of Planes, Trains and Automobiles

It has been over a month since I last posted (this sounds a lot like my journal entries) So much has happened and I have grown.
I hope that you won't mind me using this as a way to process, writing seems to do the that for me.  And if you find me being too real for you, I hope that you will not be offended.
On the 6th of September my children returned to school and my Mom came for a visit.  We had great plans of all that we would do and accomplish while she was here.  It was her first visit to New Brunswick and to our new home.  I was eager to get her opinion on Reno's and decorating.  There is just something about having my Mom to bounce thoughts and ideas around with.
While she had only been here a couple of days when we got the sad news that her father had passed away.  So we decided to pack up my van and make the two day trip to Ontario so that she could be there for the funeral and we could still be together. We took Jacob with us so that it would be easier for everyone left at home and he was pretty excited to have the time with his mom and grandma! 
My Grandfather has been a tricky person in my life.  There have been some issues that I have had to work throw and I was so grateful that I had taken the opportunity last summer to sit down and talk some things over with him.  I had first thought that that discussion had been for him but I can see now that it was totally for me.  I am grateful that I listened to that inner voice that said, `now is the time`.  So with all demons being dealt with, his funeral was not a time of figuring things out, but a time to reflect and enjoy the love and companionship of family.
A week later we were home and settling back into our visit.  We had some wonderfully, hard talks over other difficult areas of life with tears and laughter soothing the way.  I was able to see for the first time why I feel so driven to prove myself and to accomplish something great. 
Finally I am beginning to realize that I just might be enough as I am.  (Don't hold me to it, I am not completely committed to that statement just yet!)  But I am beginning to let go of the need to be enough in others eyes and just be enough for myself.
And to see if that is true, I was given another opportunity to look it straight in the eyes.  Just over a week of being home from that funeral, I was afraid I was heading to another one.  My Dear Father, who was just getting out of surgery was not doing well and we were all called home to be with him.  As I left my family and boarder a plane, I found myself filled with regret.  Regret that I had not taken the time to sit down with my Dad and be real with him.  To let him know that I was sad we weren't closer and that I wanted to be.  As we gathered around his bedside and stories were shared, I realized that I had wasted precious time.  I had been waiting for him to make the first move, to be the adult, the dad, and step up to the plate so to speak.  And I realized that I should have been the one to do that.  All of the frustrations and points I was trying to make with him were not worth the time that was lost.
I am happy to report that he did make it back home.  I have been able to spend some time with him and to have some good discussions.  (May I add here, that the T.V is great if you are trying to avoid having a difficult conversation and it comes in handy if you are stressed right out and looking for a good laugh.) 
As I got on the train and left him, maybe for the last time, I was so grateful again for the gift of time.  I love my dad.  He is a good man.  He doesn't do things as I do, and there are choices he has made that I would love to change, but I have come to see that in many ways I am like him and that that is a good thing.  He has taught me to be strong, to fight for what I believe in and to say what needs to be said.  I am grateful that he is my dad and that I have had the time to figure this out.
When I got off the train in Toronto and climbed into a taxi to get to my hotel I had a wonderful sense of well being.  It has been a whirl wind of a month.  I am exhausted, but full of gratitude for the lessons I have learned, the time I have been given to learn them and the ways I have grown.
I hope you have a wonderful day and always chose to take the time.  I know I plan to!

Here it is, the first day of school has finally arrived!  I love it when it rains on the first day.  I think it makes it easier to sit inside all day long.  I always felt like I wasn't missing out on as much when I was a child and had to trudge off to school leaving the summer behind.
Today we are under a rainfall warning; this may be taking it a bit far, a misty morning would have sufficed. But the kids all got out the door to their various destinations looking wonderful in their new clothes, carrying their new backpacks full of new pencils and paper.  And here I sit in a very quiet house enjoying being alone.
I hope you don't get the wrong idea, I love spending time with my children!  It wasn't that long ago that I was teaching them myself as a home school Mom.  But this year, I feel a need for order to return more than I ever have before.  I can't help wondering if it has something to do with the amount of T.V that was watched in the last two months.  It was draining and felt like such a waste of time.  The weather didn't help and I was hoping that my dear children would see the difference for themselves. Some did and some are yet to feel it.
So a new start all around. 
We will rededicate ourselves to living more fully, learning and growing
I hope you have a wonderful day! I plan to.

September!

Well, here it is the first day of September!  I LOVE this time of year.  I love the cooler evenings, the preparations for school, the anticapation of apple pie, cozy woolen sweaters and the feeling of new beginnings that seem to be in the air.  I have already talked about my plans for the school year.  I am looking forward to the big yellow school bus stopping at the end of the driveway so that I can get to it.
I had a bit of a cranky afternoon yesterday.  I'm not sure why, I was just a bit snappy.  At one point I said to Nathan that I was sorry for being grumpy and that I wasn't sure what was wrong with me.  He shrugged at me and said "It's no big deal Mom, you always get like this just before school is about to start!"
Smart-aleck. 
I admit it, I am ready to get my house back in order and set up our routine again.  We have been eating crazy food at crazy times.  The pile of laundry that is invading my laundry room is incredible.  Lets not even mention the family of dust bunnies that are living under the couches and beds!
But I am getting ahead of myself.  We still have a long weekend of carefree days ahead of us!  Bonfires, walks on the beach, the smell of the sea, ice cream cones and late nights.
A few more days to enjoy just being together.
I hope you enjoy this first day of September, I plan to!

Focus Jenn, Just Focus!

It has been such along time without writing and I have been going stir crazy because of it!  I have decided that I need to write everyday on something. So here I am.
I am amazed that the summer is just about over and that the kidlets will be heading back to school in just a couple of weeks.  Where did the time go?  But I have to admit I am looking forward to the routine that that will bring.  I love having the kids home, but I am tired of the craziness of summer that I so look forward to in June!
This time of year also makes me want to learn and to grow.  I guess all of those years of backpacks and lunchboxes have ingrained in me the need to refocus as the weather begins to cool. I long to shop for boxes of crayons, packs of lined paper and new spiral notebooks.  I am sharpening pencils, setting new goals and shopping for new socks and running shoes.
This year I have decided to focus on just four areas of growth. (just 4!) Back to my roots with a generations project, a homemade Christmas with a focus on the true meaning of the season, loving the space I am in~creating beauty and order, and getting back to the land.  I have been blessed with a wonderful piece of earth that I would love to enjoy more than we do now. 
Of course each one of these areas is packed full of little projects of their own and I can hardly wait to get to each of them.  I hope it goes better then the "No T.V" has gone this summer.  Who knew that the summer would be the toughest time to be T.V free?  It has been really hard and we have out right failed many days. I decided that the point of this project was not to become a cranky mother, but to build happy memories, so instead of losing it when I found one of the kids watching Heartland on the computer or a movie on the big tube in the living room, I chose to encourage and roll with it. The fall has got to be better!  I hope it's gone better at your house!
Maybe that is part of the reason I have been away from the laptop so much.  The other being that we did go on some fun adventures!  But again it is time to refocus and get back on track.  I am going to enjoy the summer we have left and look forward to warm woolen sweaters, evenings by the fireplace, yummy apple crisp and a chance to learn and grow.
I hope you have chance to regroup, I plan to!

Out and About!

It has been a while since I last posted, but I am happy to report that we have been out and about DOING SOMETHING!
We have been to Maine on Trek where we dressed up in pioneer clothes and pushed hand carts for 24 miles.  Now you may think this sound like torture, but it was a wonderful experience.  We were outside enjoying nature, getting some or maybe a lot of exercises and making great friends.  I found it interesting that many of the young people we were with enjoyed the quiet time without their cell phones or MP3 players the best.  Hmmm
We now have our family here visiting and we are off on more adventures!  So I am happy to say that the lack of posting is a result of getting out there and living.
I hope you have an adventurous week, I plan to!

Wasting Away

It seems to be harder to go with out T.V in the summer.  That is the craziest thing I have ever heard, but it sure seems to be true here in our house!  And it is driving me crazy. 
You see we have family coming to visit in a week and a half and I am trying to get everything in order.  My dear husband is working on some reno's which need doing, but are also adding to the mess.  So it is easy to get into the trap of putting a movie in for Jacob.  The poor boy doesn't have a lot that he loves to do or can do without us at his side except watch a movie.  That would be fine if he was still into Franklin or Bob the Builder; the rest of us don't get sucked into those movies as easily as Harry Potter or even High School Musical which seem to be his new favorites.  So I, more then occasionally, walk by the living room to find Nathan and Mackenzie being very supportive of our dear brother and not wanting to leave him to watch alone!
I was beginning to give up hope in ever getting back on track.  Then last week the two older kidlets and I decided that we were going to buy tickets, wait in line for 3 hours and stay up until 2am watching the new Harry Potter movie.  Summer is suppose to be all about making memories after all!  It was fun, the movie was good, but my favorite part of the whole night was talking about the other movies and having Nathan make the observation that the mirror that Harry finds in the first movie, the mirror of Erised, is a lot like T.V! That's my boy!  There is still hope.
"It will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad..." (Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone by J.K. Rowling, p.157)
You may argue about the Knowledge and true part, but I would have to agree with the other. 
I guess falling off the wagon, so to speak, has reminded us once more that we want to be living our lives, not watching someone else pretend to live theirs!
I hope you enjoy your own adventure today, I plan to.

Really?!

I am off on an adventure without my family this week end.  A dear friend of mine and I are getting away from the daily grind for some exploring and a change of pace.  I am looking forward to it.  It is always tricky to get this kind of thing organized, but well worth it when I can come home renewed and refreshed ready once more, to be the Mom and wife I hope to be.
But before I go I have to tell you about booking the motel.  The woman we went through to get the room asked of course what kind of room we wanted and if we wanted an extra T.V!  Now come on, really?  Maybe I'm crazy, but I can't understand why I would spend all of this time, energy and money to get away to a new city full of adventure just to get there and sit in front of the television, my own at that.  That would sure save on the interacting. Wouldn't want to have to talk or decide together what to watch!  Maybe if I was taking my children, even then 'cause isn't a vacation all about the people you are with?
Needless to say, we did not get the extra T.V and  I hope the standard one that comes with the room doesn't get turned on much, if at all.
I hope you have a TV free week end!  I plan to!

Confession!

I am writing this as my dear son, Jacob, is watching Ramona and Beezus.  Yes, summer has begun and we are having a bit of a set back.  Yesterday was worse.  I have to say I am extremely disappointed in myself.
Our camping trip was fun. We went with another family and besides a little rain, all went well.  The down side of such a trip is the clean up afterward.  Which brings us back to the movie mayhem.  Jacob is much better at making the mess than he is at cleaning it up.
But I am not deterred from our goal.  We will just get back up and begin again.  That is what we always do when we have a set back. 
So...the plan this afternoon is to clean up the lunch dishes, complete with lots of bubbles and than a mural painting adventure in the back yard, maybe the 'longest picture in the world'?  I believe that is a great new beginning. 
We have begun the treasure hunt, but with the rule that they must do it together and everyone going in different directions it has been difficult to work on.  I guess it really will take the whole summer!
Tomorrow is full of therapists visiting Jacob and Nathan heading to PEI for a Youth Conference.  Next week should be calmer.
But until then we will take it one day at a time.
I hope you have wonderful new beginnings, I know I plan to!

Let the Fun Begin!

The van is packed with clothes, towels, toys, food and treats. We are off on a camping trip...Hope you have a great week! I know we plan to.

Geo caching

http://www.geocaching.com

Play

We have discovered a new pass time that we are  enjoy.  Geo caching.  You go to geocaching.com and log on, put in your postal code or address and it gives you a list of coordinates locating different caches or "treasure".  We have gone the past two evenings and had a great time searching and finding this fun little boxes full of trinkets & tokens.  They are hidden all over the world.  When we travel this summer we plan to take in some GC along the way.
Last night we went with a couple of good friends of ours.  We got talking about our summer plans, these two are heading off to university in the fall and have decided to make the most of their time at home.  They are making a list (of course when they mentioned this my ears perked up, he he) their list is of 100 things they plan to do this summer.  50 activities together and 50 solo.  Of course this sounds like a ton of fun to me, so I have decided that I am going to do the same thing and encourage my family to do it too.  50 things on my own and 50 as a family. 
I have a strong desire to play this summer.  I want to explore, create and play.  This is the summer of not taking myself too seriously, of relaxing and making great memories with my children. I only have 5 summers left with Nathan at home.  This is going to fly and this may be the last one before he becomes serious about earning some money of his own.
So, today I begin a new list, one of grand adventures and time, time with the ones I love the most... 1. a summer long treasure hunt. 2. bike PEI. 3. try all the different kinds of ice cream at our favorite shop. 4...
What's on your list?
I hope you have fun today! I plan to.

Take Note and find your Wings!

I am a great list and note maker.  I make all kinds of lists, groceries to goals. I also write myself notes, notes about how the day went, memories I want to remember and notes to get myself motivated.  Sounds strange perhaps, but it works for me.  My dear husband is always making some comment about the trees I could save if I would stop, but it is what helps me to accomplish what needs to be done. 
I am working on a pretty big goal of mine these days.  I am hoping to travel Canada with my children in search of wheel chair accessibility and I would also LOVE to meet other families who have a family member with different abilities and talk about what is working for them and what is not.  Of course I would blog about it and maybe even write a book.  Maybe a spot on CBC radio?...or published in a magazine.  Something to get the message and hope out to others.  It is a huge dream for me.  When I had Jacob almost 11 years ago, I was a mess.  Life turned upside down for me.  Mostly because I had No idea what I was doing.  There were some amazing people that came into our life around that time that really helped me get a grip!  I would love to help others who might need a little support.  I have also found that there is great power that comes when we meet others who are in our same situation and can share our worries and our triumphs with each other.
Just the other day I met a mom who has a child who has many of the same abilities as my Son, Jacob and who has graduated from university!  You can't even imagine the hope that that gave me.  I was so grateful to this wonderful woman who shared her story with me and gave me a hug to boot! We were two strangers and with in ten minutes had laughed and cried together. 
Well anyway, this is the goal I am working on and it is a tricky one.  I figure I need a pretty big chunk of change to make it work.  An accessible van would be nice too, but this all requires me putting myself out there and asking...this is hard to do.  I have this nagging voice in my head that likes to say things like, "Who do you think you are?"  "You're not qualified to take this on." or "NO one wants to talk to you anyway." 
So in comes the notes of motivation to myself.  But I have to say that even they aren't working right now.
Well this morning I got up and headed to the washroom to see what kind of damage the 'sand man' had done over night and there on the counter was one of my little note books that I had written in.  It was open to a spot where I had written, "I am beginning to wonder if I am a scaredy cat..." and then a  list of things I need to do to begin this adventure of mine.  Underneath, in my sweet daughter's hand writing was written, "I love you Mom. Mom you are not a scaredy cat, you are the world! A role model. A mother! A brave, strong, amazing woman that has nothing to be afraid of. I love you. Our joys are our wings!"
I love this girl of mine. If I do nothing else in my life, knowing that I have helped to raise such an amazing person will be enough.  (and I have 3 amazing young people, how did I get so blessed?)  So I have new found strength and courage.  I must get past the planning stage and on to the doing...that is the scariest place to be!  But With encouragement and love like that, how can I go wrong?
I hope you have a noteworthy day and that you might find you wings! I plan to.
Thank you Mackenzie.

Shine

I got a letter in the mail last week informing me that the publisher I had sent my manuscript to, was not interested in pursuing it.  For a minute I was hurt and sad, almost offended.  Then I realized that to my knowledge, I don't know anyone who has ever received such a letter.   I have decided to look at it as proof that I am putting myself out there, going after the life I want and taking the risks to get there.  When my posterity see and read that letter, yes I am putting it in my book of remembrance, they will know that I tried and hopefully it will be there beside the acceptance letter and my published book! But even if I am never published, I will have the experience of trying.  That is exciting!
This thing we call living, can be really scary sometimes.  Putting ourselves out there in front of others is scary business, but I am sure that it is worth it.  At least that is what I have been told!  Maybe this fear is why I get so many questions and funny looks about turning off the T.V.  When we go against the norm it makes others nervous, it reminds them that there is another way.  It puts a mirror up and sometimes people don't like to see that things could be different if they put the effort in.  I know I find it hard and sometimes down right terrifying.
I love the quote that Nelson Mandela used in one of his speeches, it is actually by Marianne Williamson...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates other" ~by Marianne Williamson~
This is one of my favorite quotes.  I guess there are those that don't want the "permission to do the same".  Until there eyes adjust, the shine might be too bright to look at.  That does not mean that we should hide our light. 
Soooo, I am going to tweak my manuscript and submit it to other publishers, I am going to take a look at my list of goals and I am going to begin, again, to try to accomplish some of them.  I am going after my dreams, I am going to try to make my light a bit brighter everyday! Maybe if you do the same, together we will be able to live the lives we were sent here to live, accomplishing those things that will bring us true joy and happiness!
...I hope you will have a brighter day today, I plan to!