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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

A Better Day!

Yesturday was a complete No good, very bad day
I have these every once and a while. You know the kind, the one where nothing seems to go your way, and really it doesn't matter what did go right, you wouldn't recognize it anyway?  That was the day I was having.  I am hopeful that today will be better.  Because Today I will remember to write in my gratitude journal, I will remember to get the sleep I need and I will remember to stop comparing myself with others around me.  I will work on being the best version of me I can be and I will focus on the good and the positive.  There is so much of it.  I will remeber the lessons I have learned over the past few months and put that knowledge to work. 
Yes, today will be a better day, and I am looking forward to it!
I hope you have a better day, I know I plan to.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Time to be Grateful

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American friends!  I guess it is official and I can decorate for Christmas!
We had our real first snow fall last night.  I have admit that I love the white stuff.  I love watching it fall, cozing in by the fire, playing in it and the way that it changes the light in my house when it is on the ground.  So thank you mother nature for sending it my way!
There is so much to be grateful for right now.  I am excited for the season, my warm home, my dear children and dear husband, my health, my chickens (heehee), food on my table, my sight that I can see the beauty around me, my hearing that I can hear Jacob's giggles, my legs that allow me to get out and enjoy the weather, my voice that I can be heard and sing carols...I wonder if others are grateful for this ;)
The list could go on and on.  I love Sarah Ban Breathnach's book Simple Abundance.  She suggests that we all keep a gratitude journal. It is a great way to see the joy in your life.  She has a website too that I will add to the side bar.  She shares a quote by Melody Beattie, who also has a great blog that I will add.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
-Melody Beattie

So I challenge you all to take a look at what you are grateful for in your life.  It doesn't have to be anything huge. I came across a gratitude journal I had started when my children were babies.  My lists include things like, my dishwasher, my bed, my family, nap time, warm apple pie and fitting into my old jeans! It is usually the simple things that bring the most joy
Hey and check out these other sites!
I hope you have a happy, grateful day, I plan to.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Just Be Still

Since coming home from my visit with my Dad, I find I am filled with a great sense of contentment.  I have always been the one who has tried to prove I could 'have my cake and eat it too'.  I took the statement, "You can do anything You put my mind to", very literally.  I have always fully believed that to be true and have spent the first 30 odd years of my life trying to do it all. 
In high school I was involved with basketball, yearbook, students council, badminton, cross country running, S.A.D.D, (but I think it was called something else), and somewhere in there I managed to pass my classes, hold on to a boy friend, attend most football games, carry a job and hang out with my friends. I remember my dear mother trying to tell me that I was doing too much and something would have to give...hummm, maybe I could have earned A's instead of B's and C's...
Then I moved away from home, got married and had three wonderful children. Still trying to help out at church, have wonderful birthday parties for each one of my sweet darlings, babysit other peoples children, write, keep up with laundry, and occasionally homeschool my children, work full time, take care of chickens and sheep, remember date night, renovated our home, attend all of Jacob's Dr. appointments and be a good wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, aunt and neighbour.
I have always been on the watch for the next project, something I could throw myself into and feel I was doing enough.  Something that would fulfill my need to prove I could do hard things. 
I am still working through why I have felt this way and what has changed.  But what I want to share is the joy that comes from just being still.  Still enough to listen and to hear what it is you really want to be doing.  What is it that really brings you joy and contentment?  If we stop running around in circles trying to keep busy, doing what we think others want or need us to do, if we can carve out some quiet time in our lives where the T.V, MP3 players, cell phones and computers are turned off, we will be amazed at what we hear. 
I have spent the last few weeks creating a chicken coup and yard.  I have calmly and quietly, built the nesting boxes out of old 2X4's and have enjoyed every minute of it.  My family is still alive.  They have eaten and have clean clothes on their backs.  Because you know what?  When we stop and listen to that inner voice and do what it says, we have more energy and desire to do ALL that needs doing.
I have signed up for an online writing course.  It feels so good to be taking another look at my book.  I love reading others ideas and suggestions about ways I can improve it.  It feels great to be taking myself seriously.
I have spent some mornings just standing watching my chickens...I LOVE my chickens!  They make me so happy!
I have just about finished organizing the basement and the laundry is all caught up!  I feel I am doing less and getting more done.  I am NOT trying to accomplish someone elses To Do list, just my own  and it is working!
There is a power in trusting ourselves.  I think for a long time the world has been telling us that we should have it all, do it all and be it all.  I believe we can, but not the way the T.V commercials show it to be.  We can HAVE all we need to be happy today, just by opening our eyes and seeing the blessings that are right in front of us. 
We can DO all we need to be content if we stop trying to keep up with everyone else and begin living our own life. 
We can BE our very best self when we take the time to be still and find out what that looks like and trust ourselves enough to follow through.
I have never been happier!
I hope you can take the time to be still day!  I plan to.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Musings of a Happy Chicken Owner!

I have to tell you, I am in love with 31 beautiful hens!  We have adopted them from two different friends of ours who had to give them up for various reasons and we are glad we did.
I get up every morning, get the kidlets out the door to the bus, come in for breakfast, tidy up a bit and then I rummage around my fridge to see what looks wilted or past it's prime.  I take it to the cutting board where I chop it into chicken bite size pieces and fill my #10 can. I then slip on my rubber boots and head to the beloved chicken coup.  I open the Door and there are 31 beautiful ladies happy to see me, yes I guess it could be the can full of food, but I like to think it is me! 
The best part is that I don't have to be out there at the crack of dawn because they need time to lay their eggs.  That fits perfectly into my day.  Just about everyday some of them get out and we have to go out and put them back in. But secretly, I love watching them roam around the yard.  Today I found two perfect brown eggs tucked away in a thicket behind the coup. 
If you have ever dreamed of owning your own lovely hens, do it!  They are wonderful!
I hope you have a cheery day, I plan to!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Month of Planes, Trains and Automobiles

It has been over a month since I last posted (this sounds a lot like my journal entries) So much has happened and I have grown.
I hope that you won't mind me using this as a way to process, writing seems to do the that for me.  And if you find me being too real for you, I hope that you will not be offended.
On the 6th of September my children returned to school and my Mom came for a visit.  We had great plans of all that we would do and accomplish while she was here.  It was her first visit to New Brunswick and to our new home.  I was eager to get her opinion on Reno's and decorating.  There is just something about having my Mom to bounce thoughts and ideas around with.
While she had only been here a couple of days when we got the sad news that her father had passed away.  So we decided to pack up my van and make the two day trip to Ontario so that she could be there for the funeral and we could still be together. We took Jacob with us so that it would be easier for everyone left at home and he was pretty excited to have the time with his mom and grandma! 
My Grandfather has been a tricky person in my life.  There have been some issues that I have had to work throw and I was so grateful that I had taken the opportunity last summer to sit down and talk some things over with him.  I had first thought that that discussion had been for him but I can see now that it was totally for me.  I am grateful that I listened to that inner voice that said, `now is the time`.  So with all demons being dealt with, his funeral was not a time of figuring things out, but a time to reflect and enjoy the love and companionship of family.
A week later we were home and settling back into our visit.  We had some wonderfully, hard talks over other difficult areas of life with tears and laughter soothing the way.  I was able to see for the first time why I feel so driven to prove myself and to accomplish something great. 
Finally I am beginning to realize that I just might be enough as I am.  (Don't hold me to it, I am not completely committed to that statement just yet!)  But I am beginning to let go of the need to be enough in others eyes and just be enough for myself.
And to see if that is true, I was given another opportunity to look it straight in the eyes.  Just over a week of being home from that funeral, I was afraid I was heading to another one.  My Dear Father, who was just getting out of surgery was not doing well and we were all called home to be with him.  As I left my family and boarder a plane, I found myself filled with regret.  Regret that I had not taken the time to sit down with my Dad and be real with him.  To let him know that I was sad we weren't closer and that I wanted to be.  As we gathered around his bedside and stories were shared, I realized that I had wasted precious time.  I had been waiting for him to make the first move, to be the adult, the dad, and step up to the plate so to speak.  And I realized that I should have been the one to do that.  All of the frustrations and points I was trying to make with him were not worth the time that was lost.
I am happy to report that he did make it back home.  I have been able to spend some time with him and to have some good discussions.  (May I add here, that the T.V is great if you are trying to avoid having a difficult conversation and it comes in handy if you are stressed right out and looking for a good laugh.) 
As I got on the train and left him, maybe for the last time, I was so grateful again for the gift of time.  I love my dad.  He is a good man.  He doesn't do things as I do, and there are choices he has made that I would love to change, but I have come to see that in many ways I am like him and that that is a good thing.  He has taught me to be strong, to fight for what I believe in and to say what needs to be said.  I am grateful that he is my dad and that I have had the time to figure this out.
When I got off the train in Toronto and climbed into a taxi to get to my hotel I had a wonderful sense of well being.  It has been a whirl wind of a month.  I am exhausted, but full of gratitude for the lessons I have learned, the time I have been given to learn them and the ways I have grown.
I hope you have a wonderful day and always chose to take the time.  I know I plan to!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Here it is, the first day of school has finally arrived!  I love it when it rains on the first day.  I think it makes it easier to sit inside all day long.  I always felt like I wasn't missing out on as much when I was a child and had to trudge off to school leaving the summer behind.
Today we are under a rainfall warning; this may be taking it a bit far, a misty morning would have sufficed. But the kids all got out the door to their various destinations looking wonderful in their new clothes, carrying their new backpacks full of new pencils and paper.  And here I sit in a very quiet house enjoying being alone.
I hope you don't get the wrong idea, I love spending time with my children!  It wasn't that long ago that I was teaching them myself as a home school Mom.  But this year, I feel a need for order to return more than I ever have before.  I can't help wondering if it has something to do with the amount of T.V that was watched in the last two months.  It was draining and felt like such a waste of time.  The weather didn't help and I was hoping that my dear children would see the difference for themselves. Some did and some are yet to feel it.
So a new start all around. 
We will rededicate ourselves to living more fully, learning and growing
I hope you have a wonderful day! I plan to.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

September!

Well, here it is the first day of September!  I LOVE this time of year.  I love the cooler evenings, the preparations for school, the anticapation of apple pie, cozy woolen sweaters and the feeling of new beginnings that seem to be in the air.  I have already talked about my plans for the school year.  I am looking forward to the big yellow school bus stopping at the end of the driveway so that I can get to it.
I had a bit of a cranky afternoon yesterday.  I'm not sure why, I was just a bit snappy.  At one point I said to Nathan that I was sorry for being grumpy and that I wasn't sure what was wrong with me.  He shrugged at me and said "It's no big deal Mom, you always get like this just before school is about to start!"
Smart-aleck. 
I admit it, I am ready to get my house back in order and set up our routine again.  We have been eating crazy food at crazy times.  The pile of laundry that is invading my laundry room is incredible.  Lets not even mention the family of dust bunnies that are living under the couches and beds!
But I am getting ahead of myself.  We still have a long weekend of carefree days ahead of us!  Bonfires, walks on the beach, the smell of the sea, ice cream cones and late nights.
A few more days to enjoy just being together.
I hope you enjoy this first day of September, I plan to!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Focus Jenn, Just Focus!

It has been such along time without writing and I have been going stir crazy because of it!  I have decided that I need to write everyday on something. So here I am.
I am amazed that the summer is just about over and that the kidlets will be heading back to school in just a couple of weeks.  Where did the time go?  But I have to admit I am looking forward to the routine that that will bring.  I love having the kids home, but I am tired of the craziness of summer that I so look forward to in June!
This time of year also makes me want to learn and to grow.  I guess all of those years of backpacks and lunchboxes have ingrained in me the need to refocus as the weather begins to cool. I long to shop for boxes of crayons, packs of lined paper and new spiral notebooks.  I am sharpening pencils, setting new goals and shopping for new socks and running shoes.
This year I have decided to focus on just four areas of growth. (just 4!) Back to my roots with a generations project, a homemade Christmas with a focus on the true meaning of the season, loving the space I am in~creating beauty and order, and getting back to the land.  I have been blessed with a wonderful piece of earth that I would love to enjoy more than we do now. 
Of course each one of these areas is packed full of little projects of their own and I can hardly wait to get to each of them.  I hope it goes better then the "No T.V" has gone this summer.  Who knew that the summer would be the toughest time to be T.V free?  It has been really hard and we have out right failed many days. I decided that the point of this project was not to become a cranky mother, but to build happy memories, so instead of losing it when I found one of the kids watching Heartland on the computer or a movie on the big tube in the living room, I chose to encourage and roll with it. The fall has got to be better!  I hope it's gone better at your house!
Maybe that is part of the reason I have been away from the laptop so much.  The other being that we did go on some fun adventures!  But again it is time to refocus and get back on track.  I am going to enjoy the summer we have left and look forward to warm woolen sweaters, evenings by the fireplace, yummy apple crisp and a chance to learn and grow.
I hope you have chance to regroup, I plan to!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Out and About!

It has been a while since I last posted, but I am happy to report that we have been out and about DOING SOMETHING!
We have been to Maine on Trek where we dressed up in pioneer clothes and pushed hand carts for 24 miles.  Now you may think this sound like torture, but it was a wonderful experience.  We were outside enjoying nature, getting some or maybe a lot of exercises and making great friends.  I found it interesting that many of the young people we were with enjoyed the quiet time without their cell phones or MP3 players the best.  Hmmm
We now have our family here visiting and we are off on more adventures!  So I am happy to say that the lack of posting is a result of getting out there and living.
I hope you have an adventurous week, I plan to!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Wasting Away

It seems to be harder to go with out T.V in the summer.  That is the craziest thing I have ever heard, but it sure seems to be true here in our house!  And it is driving me crazy. 
You see we have family coming to visit in a week and a half and I am trying to get everything in order.  My dear husband is working on some reno's which need doing, but are also adding to the mess.  So it is easy to get into the trap of putting a movie in for Jacob.  The poor boy doesn't have a lot that he loves to do or can do without us at his side except watch a movie.  That would be fine if he was still into Franklin or Bob the Builder; the rest of us don't get sucked into those movies as easily as Harry Potter or even High School Musical which seem to be his new favorites.  So I, more then occasionally, walk by the living room to find Nathan and Mackenzie being very supportive of our dear brother and not wanting to leave him to watch alone!
I was beginning to give up hope in ever getting back on track.  Then last week the two older kidlets and I decided that we were going to buy tickets, wait in line for 3 hours and stay up until 2am watching the new Harry Potter movie.  Summer is suppose to be all about making memories after all!  It was fun, the movie was good, but my favorite part of the whole night was talking about the other movies and having Nathan make the observation that the mirror that Harry finds in the first movie, the mirror of Erised, is a lot like T.V! That's my boy!  There is still hope.
"It will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad..." (Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone by J.K. Rowling, p.157)
You may argue about the Knowledge and true part, but I would have to agree with the other. 
I guess falling off the wagon, so to speak, has reminded us once more that we want to be living our lives, not watching someone else pretend to live theirs!
I hope you enjoy your own adventure today, I plan to.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Really?!

I am off on an adventure without my family this week end.  A dear friend of mine and I are getting away from the daily grind for some exploring and a change of pace.  I am looking forward to it.  It is always tricky to get this kind of thing organized, but well worth it when I can come home renewed and refreshed ready once more, to be the Mom and wife I hope to be.
But before I go I have to tell you about booking the motel.  The woman we went through to get the room asked of course what kind of room we wanted and if we wanted an extra T.V!  Now come on, really?  Maybe I'm crazy, but I can't understand why I would spend all of this time, energy and money to get away to a new city full of adventure just to get there and sit in front of the television, my own at that.  That would sure save on the interacting. Wouldn't want to have to talk or decide together what to watch!  Maybe if I was taking my children, even then 'cause isn't a vacation all about the people you are with?
Needless to say, we did not get the extra T.V and  I hope the standard one that comes with the room doesn't get turned on much, if at all.
I hope you have a TV free week end!  I plan to!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Confession!

I am writing this as my dear son, Jacob, is watching Ramona and Beezus.  Yes, summer has begun and we are having a bit of a set back.  Yesterday was worse.  I have to say I am extremely disappointed in myself.
Our camping trip was fun. We went with another family and besides a little rain, all went well.  The down side of such a trip is the clean up afterward.  Which brings us back to the movie mayhem.  Jacob is much better at making the mess than he is at cleaning it up.
But I am not deterred from our goal.  We will just get back up and begin again.  That is what we always do when we have a set back. 
So...the plan this afternoon is to clean up the lunch dishes, complete with lots of bubbles and than a mural painting adventure in the back yard, maybe the 'longest picture in the world'?  I believe that is a great new beginning. 
We have begun the treasure hunt, but with the rule that they must do it together and everyone going in different directions it has been difficult to work on.  I guess it really will take the whole summer!
Tomorrow is full of therapists visiting Jacob and Nathan heading to PEI for a Youth Conference.  Next week should be calmer.
But until then we will take it one day at a time.
I hope you have wonderful new beginnings, I know I plan to!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Let the Fun Begin!

The van is packed with clothes, towels, toys, food and treats. We are off on a camping trip...Hope you have a great week! I know we plan to.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Geo caching

http://www.geocaching.com

Play

We have discovered a new pass time that we are  enjoy.  Geo caching.  You go to geocaching.com and log on, put in your postal code or address and it gives you a list of coordinates locating different caches or "treasure".  We have gone the past two evenings and had a great time searching and finding this fun little boxes full of trinkets & tokens.  They are hidden all over the world.  When we travel this summer we plan to take in some GC along the way.
Last night we went with a couple of good friends of ours.  We got talking about our summer plans, these two are heading off to university in the fall and have decided to make the most of their time at home.  They are making a list (of course when they mentioned this my ears perked up, he he) their list is of 100 things they plan to do this summer.  50 activities together and 50 solo.  Of course this sounds like a ton of fun to me, so I have decided that I am going to do the same thing and encourage my family to do it too.  50 things on my own and 50 as a family. 
I have a strong desire to play this summer.  I want to explore, create and play.  This is the summer of not taking myself too seriously, of relaxing and making great memories with my children. I only have 5 summers left with Nathan at home.  This is going to fly and this may be the last one before he becomes serious about earning some money of his own.
So, today I begin a new list, one of grand adventures and time, time with the ones I love the most... 1. a summer long treasure hunt. 2. bike PEI. 3. try all the different kinds of ice cream at our favorite shop. 4...
What's on your list?
I hope you have fun today! I plan to.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Take Note and find your Wings!

I am a great list and note maker.  I make all kinds of lists, groceries to goals. I also write myself notes, notes about how the day went, memories I want to remember and notes to get myself motivated.  Sounds strange perhaps, but it works for me.  My dear husband is always making some comment about the trees I could save if I would stop, but it is what helps me to accomplish what needs to be done. 
I am working on a pretty big goal of mine these days.  I am hoping to travel Canada with my children in search of wheel chair accessibility and I would also LOVE to meet other families who have a family member with different abilities and talk about what is working for them and what is not.  Of course I would blog about it and maybe even write a book.  Maybe a spot on CBC radio?...or published in a magazine.  Something to get the message and hope out to others.  It is a huge dream for me.  When I had Jacob almost 11 years ago, I was a mess.  Life turned upside down for me.  Mostly because I had No idea what I was doing.  There were some amazing people that came into our life around that time that really helped me get a grip!  I would love to help others who might need a little support.  I have also found that there is great power that comes when we meet others who are in our same situation and can share our worries and our triumphs with each other.
Just the other day I met a mom who has a child who has many of the same abilities as my Son, Jacob and who has graduated from university!  You can't even imagine the hope that that gave me.  I was so grateful to this wonderful woman who shared her story with me and gave me a hug to boot! We were two strangers and with in ten minutes had laughed and cried together. 
Well anyway, this is the goal I am working on and it is a tricky one.  I figure I need a pretty big chunk of change to make it work.  An accessible van would be nice too, but this all requires me putting myself out there and asking...this is hard to do.  I have this nagging voice in my head that likes to say things like, "Who do you think you are?"  "You're not qualified to take this on." or "NO one wants to talk to you anyway." 
So in comes the notes of motivation to myself.  But I have to say that even they aren't working right now.
Well this morning I got up and headed to the washroom to see what kind of damage the 'sand man' had done over night and there on the counter was one of my little note books that I had written in.  It was open to a spot where I had written, "I am beginning to wonder if I am a scaredy cat..." and then a  list of things I need to do to begin this adventure of mine.  Underneath, in my sweet daughter's hand writing was written, "I love you Mom. Mom you are not a scaredy cat, you are the world! A role model. A mother! A brave, strong, amazing woman that has nothing to be afraid of. I love you. Our joys are our wings!"
I love this girl of mine. If I do nothing else in my life, knowing that I have helped to raise such an amazing person will be enough.  (and I have 3 amazing young people, how did I get so blessed?)  So I have new found strength and courage.  I must get past the planning stage and on to the doing...that is the scariest place to be!  But With encouragement and love like that, how can I go wrong?
I hope you have a noteworthy day and that you might find you wings! I plan to.
Thank you Mackenzie.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Shine

I got a letter in the mail last week informing me that the publisher I had sent my manuscript to, was not interested in pursuing it.  For a minute I was hurt and sad, almost offended.  Then I realized that to my knowledge, I don't know anyone who has ever received such a letter.   I have decided to look at it as proof that I am putting myself out there, going after the life I want and taking the risks to get there.  When my posterity see and read that letter, yes I am putting it in my book of remembrance, they will know that I tried and hopefully it will be there beside the acceptance letter and my published book! But even if I am never published, I will have the experience of trying.  That is exciting!
This thing we call living, can be really scary sometimes.  Putting ourselves out there in front of others is scary business, but I am sure that it is worth it.  At least that is what I have been told!  Maybe this fear is why I get so many questions and funny looks about turning off the T.V.  When we go against the norm it makes others nervous, it reminds them that there is another way.  It puts a mirror up and sometimes people don't like to see that things could be different if they put the effort in.  I know I find it hard and sometimes down right terrifying.
I love the quote that Nelson Mandela used in one of his speeches, it is actually by Marianne Williamson...
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates other" ~by Marianne Williamson~
This is one of my favorite quotes.  I guess there are those that don't want the "permission to do the same".  Until there eyes adjust, the shine might be too bright to look at.  That does not mean that we should hide our light. 
Soooo, I am going to tweak my manuscript and submit it to other publishers, I am going to take a look at my list of goals and I am going to begin, again, to try to accomplish some of them.  I am going after my dreams, I am going to try to make my light a bit brighter everyday! Maybe if you do the same, together we will be able to live the lives we were sent here to live, accomplishing those things that will bring us true joy and happiness!
...I hope you will have a brighter day today, I plan to!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Treasure!

I am beginning to get excited for the summer holidays.  The sun is shining today and it is warm outside.  There are less then 20 days of school left and I have to admit that I am looking forward to having my children home. 
We have many traditions for the summer.  We always get out a big piece of newsprint and make a list of all the things we want to do.  We make a list of our individual goals (I'm big on goals I guess!) and we plan a trip or two.  We enjoy evenings by the campfire, star gazing, planting the garden, having friends and family visit, trips to the beach and camping.  This year I am add a couple new ones...
Tomorrow is the last day for the Wii.  I will then pack it up and put it away and the T.V will be unplugged for the summer.  The summer is way to short to be spending it in front of some gaming system pretending to bowl or play tennis.  In it's place will be real tennis rackets, bathing suits and the first clue to a summer long treasure hunt!
I realize how crazy it is to be referring to a movie on a blog about going without T.V, but I want my kids to know that it is much better to live the experience then to watch someone else.  One of our favorite movies is National Treasure.  I wish I could send my family around the world on an amazing treasure hunt, but our local area will have to do!  I have come up with just over 10 clues, they are hard and the best part is that they will have to work together to get it done.  Yes, there will be a treasure at the end, but the I hope they will find the real treasure to be the relationship and memories they build working together. I will not be helping them at all. There will be riddles to solve, puzzles to figure out and obstacles to over come. I am excited for them. I hope they will find it to be more fun than watching a movie!
I believe summer time is about treasure hunts~about finding the magic, fairy dust, warm breezes, a slower pace, the laughter of children young and old and the joy of being together.
I hope you have the courage to go on a treasure hunt of your own, I plan to!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Magic

The sun is shining today and everyone seems to have a smile on their face!  A reminder that going without, makes having something that much better.  A note on our last challenge, I have found that you find what you are looking for. Like magic, once I begain to look for the positive, I saw the positive.
Our basement got some water as I said, because of this we were able to make plans to prevent it before we begin our renos. I am so grateful it happened before we began.  I also came across a box of the kids special papers and journals.  I began journals for them when I found out they were on their way.  What a special time it was to read from them together, cozed in from the rain.  It brought back some fun memories and I believe even helped the kids to remember that they once got along really well!
My son, Nathan, has been outside even in the rain. He is working on a new project in the back yard aka: the secret garden.  He has found a spot just past the end of the yard surrounded by trees, where old raspberry canes and some kind of tall flower grow.  It is a perfect circle.  He has cleared it all out, ridding it of it's weeds and has begun to circle it with rocks he has collected from the property. 
I went back there last night to see how he is making out.  It is a magical place.  I am so grateful for his creativity and enthusiasm. It was contagious.  Together we found the perfect spot to hang the hammick, plant the poppies and delphiniums and start a little strawberry patch. He is planning a stone patio, willow arbours,a secret path to join the trail to the rest of the woods, some funiture made out of the willows from our land as well as wind chimes and bird feeders.  We talked about what flowers and plants would attract humming birds and butterflies.  As  I stood taking in the beauty of the spring, I was overcome with the hope of what was to come.  Not just with our little secret garden, but with this wonderful young man that I have the privillege to know and love. Of course I could not help but wonder if this moment would even be possible if we hadn't decided to turn off the T.V.  He could have been spending all of that time playing some game on the Wii, or sitting, watching some mind numbing sitcom.  Instead he was creating magic, discovering what he is capable of accomplishing and being successful.
I hope that you will have a magical day!  I plan to!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Optimism

Wow, two weeks have gone by since I last posted.  Crazy how time flies. 
It is still raining here in New Brunswick.  I have got to say it's getting really old.  Hard to get motivated to do anything.  We did get some water in our basement.  About an inch in most of it.  As I was cleaning up and grumbling a bit, my oldest son, Nathan said, " Mom it could always be worse, we could be in Japan, Quebec or Manitoba."  Thank you Nathan!  Way to put things into perspective.  I stopped complaining and began to be grateful. We caught it quickly, nothing was really damaged. I had to throw out a couple of books and clean up was pretty quick.  I have NOTHING to complain about.
Yet, there seems to be a blanket of tiredness covering out little part of the world.  Everyone I talk to is tired, tired of the weather, the damp and cold, the long winter and spring, just tired.  We are all hoping to see the sun.  Amazing how our environment affects us. 
It makes me even more in awe over those who face real devastation and can still be cheerful or at least optimistic.  How do we become that kind of a person?  Is it naivety, faith, a choice? Maybe a bit of all of those?  It is wonderful and can be inspiring.  So my challenge today is to find someone who carries these traits and see if I can find out their secret.  If it's you, maybe you could share your tips!  I would love to know, I could really use a boost.  No more than the many who have lost their homes, and livelihood. 
I hope you have an optimistic day, I hope to!

P.S My heart goes out to all who have been evacuated from their homes for flooding, fire or storms.  I hope that all might turn out well for you.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

More Change

It seems only right to write something about change today!  There has been a lot of it over the past few days!  Here in Canada we now have a Majority government, depending who you are, will determine how you feel about these changes!
There has been a big royal wedding aswell as the death of a wanted man.  In parts of the states, there is change to the landscapes as many try to rebuild their lives.  Here at home our snowy days have changed to rain!  In parts of the country there is flooding and people being forced out of their homes.
It is said "the only thing we can count on is change."  I guess that is true.  With many changes, we have little to no controll over the outcome and that maybe the hardest part of it all. I have often said to my children, "you can't choose whether to go through it or not, but you can choose the attitude you will have." (You can imagine how well this is received!) And they are quick to give me the same advice!
So, I have had the desire to create some changes of my own~ to gain a bit of control maybe?! I have added and rearranged pictures on my blog, I have tried a couple of new recipes, I bought a new rug for my front room, I changed my bedding from winter to summer...just to name a few.
Please don't think that I am trying to make light of the craziness that is going on in many lives around me.  I hope and pray all will be well for those going through heartache. I can't imagine having to leave my home wondering if it will still be standing when I return.  I am grateful every night when all of my family is tucked into their beds safe and sound. 
Change doesn't always have to bring heartache. I am grateful when winter turns to spring, spring to summer, summer to fall and back to winter. (I really do enjoy snow!)  I love when school is out and I have my children home all summer, I am happy again when fall comes and they are all back to school!! I was happy when the terrible twos gave way to the fabulous fours (Yes, my children took 2 years to get through that stage!) I love watching them change and grow into young adults with great ideas and amazing minds! 
I look forward to the teen years with all that that involves, I am excited to see them choose their own path and seize the moment.  I hope that they will create goodness where ever they go!
There can come strength with change, we are stretched and forced out of our comfort zone.  We must choose to act or react.  We see our lives in a different way and this might be just what we need!
So today, as you embrace the changes in your life, I hope that you might find the hope in it, I know I hope to!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

A Poem from A Sweet Girl!

I love my children.  They each have a specialness about them, each different from the other.  I would like to share with you a bit about my one and only daugther.  She is a joy to me.  She has such a sweetness about her.  She sees a need and does her best to fill it!  In fact that is ahow she lives life~ her best!  I am so grateful for her and to her.  She is an example to me of love, devotion, kindness, strength, determination, will power and Intergity. 
Today this dear daughter of mine came home from school and read me a poem she had written for L.A class. I am not sure if it will come across the same to you as it did to me, not knowing all that she is talking about, but I was amazed at how she captured and expressed her life on the page.  Her insights surprised me and so did the tears this brought to my eyes!  I hope you will enjoy. I know I did!!

Where I’m From
By: Mackenzie Wynder

I am from drawers
    from Old Navy and Stain remover
I am from red everything
      (Dark, light it felt like
      I was surrounded.)
I am from the grass
     the trees
    bright, fresh and damp smelling.

I am from the brown sugar, cinnamon toast and blue eyes
    From Dayna and Shiela and Rae.
I’m from the goal setting and
           hanging out,
from you are beautiful! and I love you!
I’m from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
            and I am a child of God. 

I’m from Alberta and Ontario
       haystacks and tea.  
From the Candy shop my
        brother owned,
The two broken arms of my grandma
when my mom was a baby.

Scrap books in the craft room
          full of pictures,
          me from birth to now
          I will always have the memories to cherish.
I am from purple and pink clothes-
           bright, blue, snowy mountains.

I love this girl!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Freedom

So how did yo do with the challenge?  Were you able to be screen free for the week? A few days? A day?  An evening?  Did you find it hard to do?
I did really well for the first part of the week and then had to check out an email that was important, and look up a motel # so I could book a room.  Amazing how much we use this technology in our daily lives.  I really missed posting on here! 
On the other side, I found it a bit liberating to ignore my emails and face book everyday.  I enjoyed the power that it seemed to give me.  A bit of freedom!  Funny, really when I don't have anyone standing over me making me check these things.  I don't really know what the difference was...I also found I had more patience with everyone around me.  I could feel the difference in our home.  I also read a book, and finished another. 
Here we are at the end of April and I have found I need to reevaluate where I am! To check in and see how I am using this "blessing", we call technology!  Only four months after deciding to go T.V free.  Perhaps I have replaced my T.V time with computer time?!  Maybe it is a good idea to check in quarterly just to see who is running who!
So, I am going to continue to hold on to this new bit of freedom and not check my emails and face book every chance I get.  I am going to take this little reminder and refocus.  I hope you will do the same.  Don't be afraid to take it to the next level.  Whether that is going T.V free for the year, the month, the week, a day, an evening, maybe it's turning off the computer more... Whatever it might me, I hope you will find the courage to go for it!  You deserve it!
Hope you have a bit of freedom today!  I plan to!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Oh! The Choices We Choose!

I received an email yesterday from an incredible friend of mine.  She is amazing to me.  She has three active children, she is going to university and taking crazy courses, she makes time to sell her wares at a farmers market a couple of times a year and she is now learning how to spin wool!  Talk about Limitless.  I will have to ask her how much time she spends in front of the tube.  I imagine it's not much, if any! It seems to me that she has made some amazing choices in her life and although hard at times, she is doing incredible things!
It was her email that informed me that this coming week is "Screen Free Week"! There is a link at the bottom of this post to a site (Please note I have no affiliation with this site, but only thought it might get you started.  I am not suggesting you purchase anything from this site, unless you feel to. There are other sites with many great ideas free of charge!) So the challenge for next week is to go Screen Free! Since that includes the computer, I will be refraining from posting next week, or checking emails and facebook! 
If you haven't been able to join us yet on our adventure, next week might be a great opportunity to see just what is possible!  Make it fit you.  If you need to check emails for work, check them, but maybe leave facebook alone for the week.  Maybe just starting with the T.V works best...You decide, you make the choice, but try something!!  Get your family involve and perhaps your friends and neighbours!  Be open to the possibility of possibilities! 
I hope have choose to join us! Have a Choice Day!  I plan to!

“Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored.” ~Wayne Dyer~ 


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Balance

Well I got so excited about the idea of  limitless days, but it seem that there has been so many things in the way since I wrote it that I haven't been able to start!  I spent last week on the road, (5 days and 3 nights in a motel and we didn't turn the T.V on once!) and this week I was able to spent a wonderful day with a dear friend of mine, which I enjoyed greatly,  I've had a sick boy home,so today is my day!!  Sometimes it just seems like life gets in the way of the best laid plans!
That is the trick though don't you think?  To try to enjoy the seemingly endless tasks and all of the to do lists, so that we can get to the "good stuff"!
There are a couple of theories on this. And I have tried some.  One is that we should always do the chores first and then have fun and enjoy ourselves. This is what my parents taught, or should I say, tried to teach me while growing up.  I understand this in theory.  It is much nicer to sit and eat my sandwich in a clean kitchen since of course I cleaned up after myself as I went, right?!!
The trouble with this one is that as a mom, I NEVER seem to be done the chores.  There is always something to be done and therefore I never get to the fun stuff.  SO, I have tried theory number two...do the fun stuff first and the rest will fall into place!
This feels so great if you can let your self enjoy it and it can work. But be warned that it also has the ability to quickly be abused and before you know it you are living in complete chaos.
This said I think the answer is somewhere in the middle.  I have found when I can find that balance, I can enjoy the chores and the "fun stuff"! My family grumbles when things get to crazy at home, but my creative self also grumbles if ignored for too long.  My dear Mother has tried to teach me to find joy in creating a beautiful, orderly home.  I just get frustrated with having my work all undone with in hours, even minutes.  Limitless is great when it is limitless possibilities for my life, but NOT limitless chores to be done!
So today I am going to make a gentle to do list, I am going complete it, trying not to be distracted by anything and then I am going to enjoy some creative time. 
I hope you have a balanced day, I plan to!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Oh the Foolishness!

I just sent my youngest son, Jacob, to school with a note to say his g-tube is bothering him and that we will make an appointment to have the green stuff around it checked!  No, I am not being a totally negligent parent, we are just having some April Fools fun!  The Green stuff is actually the words "He He, Happy April Fools!"  written around his tube in green marker. Now, this is all in fun and please don't stop reading my blog over it!  I did talk to him before and he got very excited!  My Daughter, Mackenzie took green dyed noodles to sneeze at her friend too.  I have been giggling all morning! 
These jokes are in fun and harmless, the marker will come off and we made sure the noodles wouldn't stain anything.  Is it possible we have too much time on our hands!!  Perhaps one of the side effects of not watching television!  Be warned!
I guess having one day a year of foolishness is good.  I have to admit that I don't like being made the fool.  You know I am going to tie this in to T.V watching, don't you?!!  So with that said...When was the last time you watched T.V and didn't groan over some ridiculous commercial that belittled your intelligence?  Have you watched some of the stuff that we are having our pre-schoolers sit through? 
I remember watching the last episode of Seinfeld ( I really hope I am not getting myself in trouble here) I loved the show, but I felt like it was making fun of all of us who had followed it.  At first I was a bit annoyed, but since have seen the genius in it!  We can get so caught up in the lives of these make believe, Yes, they are make believe, lives and worlds.  Maybe we are playing the fool more than we know!  When we give the show our power and  HAVE to watch it.  What about when we numbly sit watching something that isn't worth our time, energy or brain power instead of doing something worth while.  Even sleeping would be better than filling out heads full of some of the stuff that is out there!
So enjoy your day of foolishness, it is great fun!  But I hope you see the wisdom in living your own real life, in your real world!  I know I hope to!

I seem to be having some technical difficulty.  Please try to ignore the highlights.  They are not intentional and I can't figure out how to get rid of them!! Thanks

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Limits...Limitless!

I find it interesting that we are Children of God and yet feel we aren't capable of achieving all of our goals!  If we truly believe we are the spiritual offspring of the most Divine being, then why do we set such limits for ourselves?  Wouldn't it only make sense that He would want us to succeed, just as I want my own children to succeed? Doesn't it make sense that He would be waiting and willing to give us the resources and help we need to accomplish what we have set before us to accomplish?  Yet we set limits...I know I do.  And it varies from not being able to turn off the T.V to not being able to climb Mount Everest!! ( I really don't have a desire to do that!)  But you get my point!
So why the limitations?  I can't answer this for everyone, but for me I think it is the fear of change, the fear of failure and yes, even the fear of success.  I get stuck in a rut and stay there, not because I like it, but because it is familiar and therefore seems comfortable.  CRAZY!!
My challenge for myself today, this week, the month and really the rest of my life is to set high goals and ideals and to strive toward them.  Hey I am only on this earth once, I want to make the best of it!!  So I am going to mail off the children's book I wrote, I am going to find order in my home (I have been working on this for 15 years!!) I am going to begin writing my next book, I am going to travel Canada...Oh the possibilities are endless!  I know with My Heavenly Father's help I can do it all!!  If I look at what I have already done, I realize I am capable of more! 
I have taken the first steps, I have decided that I am worth more than what Hollywood has to offer, I have declared it!  Now I will pray and get to work!!
I hope you have a limitless day!  I plan to!! 

*for those who have different beliefs, My intention is not to offend.  I am working from my own belief system because that is what I know and have found to be true! I hope you can find some truth in what I have shared, I do so with the best of intentions!  : )

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Some Ideas!!

I thought I might get a way from some of the philosophical writing and get into some practical ideas for this grand adventure we are on!  It is technically spring in my part of the world, but we still have tons of snow!  We got big "Christmas" snow yesterday and it has covered all the grass that was showing.  But I have not given up hope!  It is at these times that I really wonder about global warming...hmmm!
I have gone to the store and to the shed to gather all that I need and have planted some little seeds!  (Seeds of hope and faith that the warm weather must be coming soon!) It was wonderful to get my hands in the dirt and the smell of freshly watered soil is just what I needed!  Some of these little babies have sprung forth and are stretching toward the sunlight.  I feel I am trying to do the same.  It makes me think that maybe my whole family is stretching forth.  Reaching for something better than what is offered in the way of media.  (Oops, sorry we are going for practical...)
So here is the practical.  If it is still cold and snowy at your house and you are racking your brain trying to come up with something to do that doesn't involve the Telly,  here are some suggestions!
  • Plant some seeds!
  • Turn up the heat, dig out your shorts and put them on!
  • Throw together a potato salad, uncover the BBQ and have hamburgers (see Nate's creation if you need some inspiration!)
  • Shovel off the deck and sit out there between 2:00 and 2:30 if it is in the sun you should enjoy some warmth!
  • Go bird watching, I have heard there are some robins in the area! And I spotted some mourning doves!
  • Start spring cleaning??? If you think it will help!
  • Get a pedicure
  • Visit a Maple Syrup set up. 
  • Wash your bedding and hang them on the line.  They will dry eventually and smell so great!
  • Open the windows!
  • Look through a seed catalogue and plan your yard!
If you have any ideas to add I would LOVE to hear them!
Hope you have a Spring filled day, I plan to!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Ohh The Contrast!!

This past week has been full of traveling.  One of my favorite things to do much to my dear husbands dismay!  On Wednesday we all piled into the van and headed to Dieppe; Destination Crystal Palace!  It is an indoor amusement park.  There is a roller coaster, the swings, a carousel and all kinds of other typical rides and games.  We had a great time.  Just before lunch however, Colin got a text on his cell phone from my cell phone!  Yup, I had had it in my pocket on the roller coaster and it had fallen out.  The person on the other end, wanted a reward to give back my phone and if not, they were going to destroy it. 
It was one of the most frustrating experiences.  There was nothing I could. Even the security guard couldn't do anything.  We were pretty sure it was a group of teenagers, we could see them and do nothing but cancel the phone and move on. 
That is what we did.  It was later turned into security without a battery and a scratch down the screen. 
I felt frustrated and annoyed.  They had called me names and talked like I was the evil one for not doing what they said to do.  It bothered me for a couple of days.  I guess I am the kind of person who likes justice!  There wasn't any justice to be had that day. I couldn't help but wonder where the world was going.  Where are these kids learning that black mail and theft was okay? (It couldn't be from the T.V they are watching or from the games they are playing, could it?)

On Saturday, I piled my van full of other teens I know and love. We headed to St. John NB for a youth activity.  There were over 200 kids there from 12 ~ 18 years of age.  I just can't explain the feeling that was present.  There was respect, there was hope and there was optimism.  As I sat and observed this great group of youth, I found the contrast amazing!  One offered the world and the other so much more!  These kids seemed to have it figured out.  The happiness and joy could be seen on most of their faces.  They filled me with hope for the future!  

I am grateful for youth who take the time to recognize the goodness that can be had in the world and choose to make it a better place.  I am grateful for those youth who are brave and choose to make a positive difference in this great world of ours!  If you know a young person who does this, I hope you will let them know what a great job they are doing!  Give them a big pat on the back and enjoy the hope of the future! 

To the other youth, who are still trying to find something to fill the void, I hope you can find the courage to make a stand and do what you know to be good and right!  I know that there is amazing greatness in you, grab hold and feel the joy!

Have an Optimistic Day, I plan to!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

First of all, Happy St. Patrick's Day to All!!  Hope you are wearing your green with pride and keeping watch for leprechauns and pots of gold!
When we lived in Alberta, the kids in grade one, brought home a note, letting the parents know that for their "building" unit they were to make a Leprechaun trap AT HOME!! and bring it to school to see if they could catch the Leprechaun they had there.  As a parent this was a crazy request, not only did I have to help come up with some materials and direction, but the kids thought this had to be done every year after!!  St. Patrick's Day became another holiday of treats and sneaking around.  On our way home from the Crystal Palace (an amusement park) last night @7:30, with a 2 1/2 hour drive ahead of us, Mackenzie says, "I have to make my trap so we can catch the leprechaun tonight!"  (it didn't happen) But to the teacher who came up with what seemed like a great idea at the time, Thanks so much! 
They don't do that here in the East.  Mackenzie said she mentioned it at school and got some pretty strange looks!

Okay really, it was fun to create something with the kids.  I am always amazed at what they come up with.  And it does add some magic to things! Of course the Leprechaun ALWAYS gets away, but leaves a note explaining how he got out and some "gold" coins.  Every year it gets harder to come up with how he/she escaped!  One year it was slicing through the cardboard, I guess he was carrying a sword of some kind! The next year the kids used a tin can... This year, we are having green pancakes for supper and calling it good! But if you are looking for something to do besides watching the T.V, there just might be some little leprechaun who needs catching!
Hope you have a Magical day!  I plan to!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

More Hope.

This past week has been a bit of a roller coaster ride.  I haven't really known how to put into words what I have been feeling, but I want to try.  March break is always a fun time of year for our family, a time to slow down a bit and be together.  We don't usually go too far but enjoy not having to get up early and love the lack of schedule.
This March break we received some terrible news Tuesday afternoon.  A family we know and love had lost their husband and father in an accident.  In an instant their lives had changed.  The shock that comes from that kind of news is huge.  We are heart broken and just can't believe he is gone.
Then to get the new of the earthquake and tsunami hitting Japan added to our heavy hearts.  To see the pictures of the devastation and to imagine what all of those people must be going through and feeling is overwhelming.
We had planned some fun activities and spent the week torn between sadness and the desire to do these 'normal' fun things. One of the children said to me, "is it wrong to not want to miss out on doing these things?" Which can only be answered individually.
We did go ahead with many of our plans.  I believe this is what our dear friend would want us to do and I believe it helped us too.  We have not forgotten or over looked what has happened.  We think about it everyday and pray for our dear friends and for those we don't know.
It has also put me in a reflective state of mind.  I sat on Saturday in the chapel of the funeral home surrounded by over 300 people, all gathered together to mourn the lost of a great man.  I have never been to a funeral and come away filled with such hope and desire to do better.  His family, especially his wife and children, truly made it a celebration of his life.  It was powerful to sit there and listen to them express their gratitude of having him in their life.  I know that they will miss him greatly and that they have hard days ahead of them, but I am so grateful for their examples of faith and hope.
I can't help but being filled with the desire and hope that I might use my life to touch and serve others more then I do now.  I don't want to waste another moment on anything that doesn't bring joy or betterment to myself or those around me.  Without wanting to sound like a cliche or a good old country song; I do want to smile more, laugh more, love more, feel more gratitude, share more, be more positive, and just be more. 
I don't know if there is anything I can do but pray, for those who are suffering in Japan, but maybe I will start right where I am. I pray that I might be more aware of the needs of those around me, of ways that I might fill those needs and for the strength and courage to go forward into action!

I hope you have more hope today, I plan to!
(And to my dear friend, Thank You for your inspiration, your friendship and your incredible example.)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Not Much to Write, I've Got to Get Back to Hanging Out With the Kids!

The sun is shining again!  We just had yet another winter storm, which normally would have been exciting for the kids, but they are already out of school for March Break!
Good ole march break!  A week to regroup, rest and just hang out doing whatever you so desire!  Many have headed South for some sun, others are heading to the local ski hill to take in a few days of hitting the slopes.  We are just taking it easy at home.  Bowling later today, swimming tomorrow, snow shoeing, puzzles, playing games, snow sculptures, Hawaiin party and a trip to Halifax.  I love having the kids around.  Every year seems to get better and better! 
Nathan is continuing with his studies!  Just finished reading one of the 39 Clue books and is looking up the places and events that were mentioned in the book!! I love that boy!!  He has inspired me to do some studying of my own! 
Mackenzie is doing her own thing, hanging out with her brothers.  Just happy to have the freedom to do nothing!
Jacob has been sick again, but is better today! He is enjoying the time in his P.J's and playing with his sister!
Well I better get back to it, you know, doing NOTHING!!!!
Hope you have a relaxing day, I plan to!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Taking the Challenge and Running With It!

I have discovered that falling off the wagon is not all bad!  It has been very interesting to see the out come! Nathan said the other day, "I would like to watch my movie, but it's a huge chunk of time and I don't want to waste it!"  He also said yesterday, "Mom, I have decided to come home and learn something everyday after school.  I figure that way I can be one of the smartest kids in my class, since most of them go home and play some game or watch T.V! Do you know where Dad's automotive books are?"  ( I love that Young Man!)
Jacob the one who spent most of the other day watching the tube, had a similar experience! He is our youngest, as you can see in our pictures is in a wheel chair.  He was born with cerebral palsy.  He doesn't talk, but he does communicate.  He doesn't walk but he is a go getter!  I am so grateful for this little boy in my life.  He teaches me something new everyday.  Sometimes about him, sometimes about the world, and most often about myself!
I had to take Jacob to an overnight appointment at the hospital this week.  We left Wednesday morning and had a 2 1/2 hour drive.  The usual set up is for Mackenzie or Nathan to travel with us, someone to help care for Jacob when we are on the road.  The other usual is for Jacob to be entertained with a video in our little t.v.  Since there was only one recliner to sleep on in Jacob's room it was only the two of us going.  So before we left, Jacob was fed and Harry Potter was put in for him to watch!
Let me stop to explain that I had not really asked Jacob if he wanted the movie, I just went ahead.  I also hadn't really asked him if he was doing our No T.V challenge. He had been apart of it because I didn't turn it on, but I hadn't really taken it too seriously if he did watch something~special circumstances and all of that!  But Jacob doesn't miss much!  He catches everything that we are talking about. Even knowing this and being his mother for these past 10 years, I sometime forget to involve him in all of the decisions of which he should be apart! 
So here we are driving down the road and Jacob pushes the top of the T.V down and closes it.  I open it up thinking that he has hit it by accident.  He squawks and closes it again.  I explain to him, as I open it for the second time, that it makes driving difficult when I am have to keep "fix" the T.V and that if he closes it again I will have to keep it closed and he will be without his movie!  He grins (his "yes" face) and closes the T.V. Then sits back and looks out the window.  He was great the rest of the trip!
When we finally got all settled into our room at the hospital, the T.V was on.  Jacob watched it for a bit while I was getting everything figured out. We had to leave the room so that Jacob could get his head covered in little electrodes and then wrapped in gauze to keep everything in place until the morning!  When we got back to the room I laid him in his bed.  I asked him if he wanted the television on and he stuck out his tongue (his "NO" face) so I tried to read to him for a bit but he was just to wiggly.  The only way to keep him still and his head wrapped was to turn on the T.V!
The next morning, Jacob awoke and was stripped of his head gear! While waiting for the Dr. to come in, Jacob wanted nothing to do with the television!  So I took him on my lap where we snuggled for a bit, read some books that he had chosen to bring with us (mostly Robert Munsch!) and I decided to have a little chat with my dear boy! I asked him again if he wanted me to turn on one of his shows.
He stuck out his tongue, in fact he stuck it out so much that I am sure that I was being yelled at!
I asked him if he was turning it off because he had decided to take the challenge too! 
Big Smile!! In fact he giggled!
I asked if that was why he closed the T.V in the van.  Another big smile!
So we snuggled, Jacob stole my nose and gave it back many times,(a new favorite game!) we read more stories and I was overcome with the power this wee laddie has to teach and the strength he has to be included in all that we do! I was also so grateful for the time we had together!  One on One and quiet!
On a side note, while we were a way my dear husband TEMPTED, I mean, asked Nathan and Mackenzie on Wednesday evening if they wanted to watch a movie or play a game.  Explaining that it would count as his movie not theirs! 
They played a game! 
I am amazed at the way this is all going!  I am grateful for the lessons we are learning about each other, ourselves and our strength! I love my children, what amazing beings they are!
I hope you have educational day!  I plan to!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Falling Off the Wagon!

Well it finally happened, we fell off the wagon!  Yesterday was a snow day, the first real one of the year and it was also the 4th day of Jacob being sick.  Poor guy.  So after trying to juggle it all I broke down and threw in a movie for Jacob- Bob the Builder!  Sadly it didn't end there!  It worked so well that I put in another one for him after that, until, yes you guessed it, the whole day was filled with him watching movies!!!  AHHHH!!!
That being said, after spending 3 days of doing nothing but snuggle and hold him, I think he was fine.  In fact he was quite enjoying it!  It gave me the time to finish a puzzle and have a good visit with Nathan and go through 9 bags of clothes with Mackenzie!  (Yes 9!  she replaced her whole wardrobe!)
At the end of the day I laid my head down on my pillow feeling great that I had spent some quality time with Nathan and Mackenzie but feeling that I had hardly even seen Jacob, let alone connected.  Oh well it is all a balancing act.
Since Jacob is home again today and I will be spending the next 2 days at an overnight appointment with him, I think the balance is working. I can't feel too badly about it.
Hope you have a balanced day!  I plan to!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

A Lesson Learned!

I am putting myself our on a bit of a limb here.  I don't really like to show my "less than perfect" side,(you can stop laughing now!)  but I think I must. 
So here it goes, I must confess that I tend to be a bit jealous at times.  I have had moments when I have found it hard to be happy for someone else who has what I want.  When my cousin got the cabbage patch doll with the blond hair and blue eyes, after waiting for so long and I think she even had to pay for it herself; my doll, the one that I had received as a gift when they were first new, from my dear Mother, who sacrificed to buy it, didn't seem quite as wonderful anymore.  And I remember I could hardly congratulate my dear cousin.  Yikes!  But, I have since seen the error of my ways and Mom if you are reading this, I love Bianca!  Thank you so much for giving her to me!!! And congratulations my dear cousin!  I truely hope that you enjoyed every moment!
Okay, so why am I confessing this to you? Because today I came across something that only a couple of months ago would have caused those same feelings, but instead I discovered that I really like where I am and who I am! 
Last year I heard a podcast from a woman who had everything I wanted.  She was an author, a photographer, the mother of 5, Yes! I have always wanted 5 children, she was living in a cool place, and in general, seemed happy and loving her life! I don't begrudge her her joy, but I do remember feeling cranky after hearing her story. 
Well, I just stumbled upon a little clip of her talking about her blog.  She has a beautiful family, a lovely home, she even has the cool world map on the wall in her dining room!!! She is still an author, a talented photographer, she still has 5 beautiful children, BUT, I didn't feel envious of her this time.  I had great joy for who she is, what she is doing and I also realized WHY!
I am in a much better place these days. Instead of seeing what I lacked, I saw what was possible! I am living more of my authentic life, if you will.  And I can see and feel the joy and contentment it is bring me.  Is it just a coincidence that this joy and contentment has come about at the same time I have decided to turn off the T.V and get a life?  I don't think so. 
I believe that turning off the television has given me what I need to reach my own goals and to live the life I have always wanted! It has given me the quiet I need to hear what the possibilities might be and the time to see those possibilities unfold. I am grateful for this gift that I am giving to myself and to my family.  I hope that you are able to do the same!
Have an authentic day, I plan to!